Mirror, mirror, on the wall, I am my mother after all! There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it. Having a baby is just living in the constant unexpected, you never know when you're gonna get crapped on or when you're gonna get a big smile or when that smile immediately turns into hysterics. My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it. The days are long, but the years are short. The one thing children wear out faster than shoes is parents. My favorite part about being a mom, I mean it's so corny, but no matter how tired you are, it's complete bliss. Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary for human life. OMG, My mother was right about everything! It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it's a mere formality. I love to play hide and seek with my kid, but some days my goal is to find a hiding place where he can't find me until after high school.Ĭhildren are a great comfort in your old age - and they help you reach it faster, too. If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says 'keep away from children'. When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. My mother told me a million times not to exaggerate.Ī mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie. It may not be somebody else's, but this is mine. I can be covered in spit-up on a conference call while I'm pumping and that's okay because this is my perfect. If at first you don't succeed, try doing it the way Mom told you to in the beginning. Setting a good example for your children takes all the fun out of middle age. The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. I always say if you aren't yelling at your kids, you're not spending enough time with them. My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it. Insanity is hereditary you get it from your children! If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands? It just occurred to me that the majority of my diet is made up of the foods that my kid didn't finish. Sometimes I open my mouth, and my mother comes out. Winning grand slams being down match point, to name just a few, but I found out by far the hardest is figuring out a stroller! Nothing is really lost until your mom can't find it. Unless you have kids, then silence is just suspiciousĪh, babies! They're more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts. Why don't kids understand that their nap is not for them but for us? I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids. Others are about how amazing moms are and how much they sacrifice for their children. These funny Mother's Day quotes and sayings are for moms who don't take themselves too seriously! Even the celebrity Moms have challenging parenting moments, resulting in humorous reflections on motherhood. Use these links to jump to a particular section, or scroll down the page to view all the funny Mother's Day quotes and messages and give Mom a giggle: These funny Mother's Day sayings are a great addition to a card message for your own mom, your wife or partner, or a friend who is a new mom. Be sure to make her breakfast in bed, spoil her with flowers, shower her with heartfelt homemade gifts - and give her a big belly laugh with one of these funny Mother's Day quotes! Not only is mom our greatest teacher in life, but she's also a free therapist! She'll wipe our tears, cook us our favorite dinners and be there in good times and bad.
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